Thursday, July 22, 2010

Peer Pressure

Well, it has been one exhausting, but exciting week! I have loved every minute of having my nephew here, but kids are tiring! Between working 11 hour days and coming home to swim, play video games, or have house-wide pillow fights, I am wiped out. On top of it all I have been exercising and eating healthy. The conclusion I have come to is that it is not easy alone!

I say this because that has felt like my experience this week. Luckily, Cody went with whatever I chose to do, but still I feel like peer pressure was in my face every day this week. I mentioned it Monday how everyone had ribs and macaroni while I had grilled chicken and brown rice. Well that pattern only continued as the week progressed. It went from ribs to spaghetti, leftovers, ice cream, soda, candy, pizza, burgers, the list goes on. I would do great all day at work and then walk in the door to junk for dinner. It was all so tempting after a long day to give in to what was on the table or to make an excuse for why I "deserved" to treat myself, but every day I pushed through. Whether it was making my own dinner or going somewhere to get something healthy rather than have pizza I did it. But,let me just say it is no fun by yourself. To watch 4 people say "yeah lets get pizza" and have to be the one to mentally battle to make the right choice is hard. Food to me is a comfort, an addiction maybe. I eat when I'm bored or upset and any other emotion. So, to be the only one in my family to say "no I cant have that" is really a challenge. It's not that I dont want it, but my body doesnt need it. By saying "i cant have it" rather than "ughh I shouldnt" are two different things. Saying "I cant" is almost like feeling as if your body physically can not take the food. The truth is though, your body isnt taking the food well, hence why it turns to fat and only makes you feel tired and sluggish.

Again, this happened tonight. I walked into the family swimming and grilling burgers. Naturally they had the best, bubba burgers. Of course there were turkey burgers stuffed away in the freezer for me, but no one cared to make them. It was a fight not to give in and eat the already cooked, 480 calorie Bubba Burger, but fight I did. I not only ate the turkey burger, but got Cody, my dad and mom to eat them as well. I got frustrated and had to break some Jillian attitude on them to be heard, but I finally asked for help. I had to make it clear what type of journey I'm on and ask for support in it. By yourself it is easy to falter and lose sight of the goal, but there is nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel and asking for the help. No one should fight this alone. Obesity and weight loss are tough, whether you want to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds, the journey isnt easy, bottom line.

It has just been a tough week mentally to stay on track, but I have and I am so proud. Tomorrow I hope to continue that with a 5 mile morning run. I just needed to vent because it has been a struggle and it happens, but anyone can do it, especially with help!

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