I'm That Person...

Well, I've done it. I've become "that" person, the paranoid home buyer. This past weekend our cabinets and countertops were put in. As soon as we walked in on Saturday I knew they were wrong. The cabinets were not the height they were supposed to be and the counters were the wrong color. The bf tried to convince me otherwise, but nooo I could not be swayed. Instead, we had to drive 15 minutes out of the way to the home studio to look for myself at the options we selected back in March. I walked out relieved and defeated. I was wrong, of course I was. I have honestly forgotten the colors and selections we made 4 months ago because I was so worried the house wouldnt work out. Now, every week I convince myself something isnt right. I think this whole process has overwhelmed me and I need to enjoy it. Most of the hard stuff is done, I need to just wait for my closing date and be happy. I dont want to be "that" person, who is worried about everything and calling to check on things every 5 seconds. This week I will work on trying to be calm about the house, and enjoy every visit as it gets closer and closer to moving in and making it our home.

Now that I've aired my worries, and admitted that theres no reason for them, I feel better. I'm going to see the progress at the house tomorrow, so I'll get some pictures!

The Wait Is Over!

Ahhhh, I can finally share the GREAT news!!

The bf and I finally got the word from the underwriter-we are approved for first our home loan!!!

I have been waiting for this call since March. From the constant back and forth with the loan counselor, from things looking good then bad, and now the approval we were waiting for.

We started looking at townhomes back in March. Our thought is that even with a home, we would have a yard which is constant up keep along with money. Right now with the bf still in school, we wanted a place that we could own, not one that would own us on the weekends. Thats how we decided on a townhome.

I immediately fell in love with our community as soon as we drove in. It has town homes, single family homes, a few pools, clubhouse, gym, even an elementary school. The community itself sold it. Then the prices along with the options to customize it OUR way and build it from the ground up was an offer we couldnt turn down. We thought it over for maybe a week and then put down our deposit. Ever since we have been paying off debts and saving our pennies. At this point, the house is in the dry wall phase. There are projecting closing on August 17th! This all seems surreal. We picked out our appliances, our cabinets, our floor-everything for our first home. I'm so excited and I'm so relieved to finally enjoy the process!!

Still Waiting...

After finalizing everything with the loan counselor, all we are waiting for is the go ahead from the underwriter. She agreed everything looks good, and we just needed the final approval. So, as it sits, I'm playing the waiting game. Putting everything I have into savings, living off as little as possible, all in hopes that in August I will be closing on a home! The suspense is killing me!

Other than sitting on pins and needles, I had one glorious week off. Minus the few days of smoke (thanks a lot wildfires) I thoroughly enjoyed floating in the pool, sleeping in, and enjoying one or multiple margaritas! It was so nice to take a step back from work and just enjoy my days of having nothing to do. I also got to spend some much needed time with the bf. We celebrated our 3 year anniversary last Wednesday! I really cant believe we have been together 3 years. I woke up to breakfast in bed, which I've never had before. It was followed by a day of being little kids of Dave & Busters, lunch out, then a fancy pants dinner on the water at Charthouse. Overall, a great time. The whole week did my good. The bf and I reconnected, I soaked up some sun, and I feel rejuvenated in general.

I guess for this week I will go back to waiting...

A Glimmmer of Hope

Well, today brought a little bit of good news!

I heard from the company I'm applying for a home loan through. I have been working on my debts and have paid alot off in the last few months. I re-submitted all my information about a week ago and today I finally heard back. As long as the FHA didnt change any guidelines that effect me, then my numbers look good and I could be approved for the townhome we want! I should be getting the phone call tomorrow to go over everything, but today was a step in the right direction.

Its surreal to think that in a few months I could be a homeowner. It's so adult sounding. Since March (when we started looking), this has been weighing on my mind, and it so so stressful. I've been having headaches and feeling anxious. All I really want is a decision one way or the other, a place the bf and I can call our own. Keeping my fingers crossed!!

Time Off & Future Plans

Well, spending time with friends was great! Between the bbq and going out, it was much needed to catch up. I think having the time off worked was much needed too. I've been feeling pretty burnt out lately and having time away couldnt have come at a better time.

Speaking of vacation, I actually have a short week this week and then I'm off for an entire week. Back in January when we picked our vacation, I took my first week in June for the bf and I's 3 year anniversary. We planned on going to Chicago, but we are trying to save money for a new place, so that trip got cancelled. I think I'm just looking forward to having a week with no real plans..no work, no getting up early, just relaxing, and hopefully lots of tanning!

Other than that, I'm just trying to figure out future plane. Saving for a new place has been quite the undertaking. I've paid off all my credit cards and my car is about a few payments away from being paid off. I'm excited for how much I've accomplished financially, but nervous for what lies ahead. A potential mortgage is so adult sounding. No official news yet, just taking things day by day and within the month should have some news one way or another.

Hoping to get through the work week and on to vacation! Woohoo, happy (almost over) Monday!

Working for the Weekend

Ahhh, I really need to get better at this. I promise this is my last post about what a slacker I am!
I guess I just dont have much excitement going on. Or if I do, its not "finalized" so I'm not ready to write about it yet! (cross your fingers, for big news!)

I'm staying extremely busy with work and working out. I joined a new gym last week and I really like it. I also really like the extreme discount I got. I'm running a 5K this saturday though. It's my first race since the River Run, so I'm looking forward to it.

I guess I just cant wait for this weekend because some amazing friends are coming! Sometimes you just need people you love around, and its one of those times! I'm looking forward to having time off and spending it with people I care about. Only a day and a half of work stand between me and my extra long weekend.

Ok enough random post

Its Been Awhile

So, its been a while.
After the GRR I took a break from running and working out. I felt I needed an deserved it. Plus, after all your energy and focus has been on something like that, you sort of deflate afterwards. I needed time to relish the moment and come down from all the training.

Now, after all that, not too much is going on. Continuing with the trainer (not for much longer), not really worrying about the running right now, just more on working out. I feel rejuvenated and inspired to keep living this way and make the push to be exactly where I want. I'm starting to feel happy with myself and thats a place I havent been in years!

Besides that I've been having a bit of a pity party for myself. Alot of my friends are getting married, moving to new places, having babies, and I've felt stagnant. I feel like I'm stuck in the same position, trying to move forward, but getting nowhere. I'm kind of in the process of buying/building a town home. With loans the way they are these days, nothing is guaranteed, so I havent wanted to blog about it and get my hopes up. The process is more than stressful and crazy, and truthfully I dont know that it will go through. I have decided that whatever happens will happen. I'm genuinely excited for the people in my life, and I know things will happen for me when they are supposed to!

GRR Recap

Well I survived yet another Gate River Run.

I was nervous getting up that morning, but stayed calm and had a good breakfast. Once we got downtown I hit that bathrooms then spent my time warming up and trying to shake off the nerves. Once we lined up, I immediately had to pee again. I wasnt sure if it was nerves or if I really had to go. Either way, thats all I could think about. I knew I wasnt going to stop along that race at the port a lets, so I had to run through it.

Starting out the race I was pissed. This year walkers were supposed to start 5 min after the runners, or atleast further back, but I spent the entire first mile or so dodging people walking right into the middle of the road. I mean did they not get the memo?! As I got more furstrated I realized I was wasting alot of energy getting mad, when I needed to focus it and save it for when I needed it.

At mile 2, I hit the Main Street Bridge, and I felt great. I got through the first 5 miles with no problem. My mom, Marie, and I talked the entire time. I even stayed a little bit ahead of them. I kept to my plan and stopped at the water stations along the way so I wouldnt have to at the foot of the Hart Bridge. I saw a friends mom betweenmile 6 and 7 and it gave me the boost that I needed. Right about mile 7 on that long stretch, we all agreed it was almost time for the 'Green Monster' so my turned on our ipods. I put on my running beidge and rounded the corner with the bridge in sight. I was so determined when I got to the foot of it, and I just told myself to take baby steps and not to rush going up, so I wouldnt get winded. I keot running and waited for it to get hard, but it never did. With each step I felt stronger, like I was making up for last year. I finally ran exactly like I wanted to. I wasnt dragging to the finish, I was running this bridge and the last mile of this race exactly like I had hoped for in my head. I even had enough energy to sprint to the finish.

Last year I ran the race in 1:58, and I made my goal which was under 2 hours. This year my goal was 1:45, but a friend said to try for 1:50. Well I met in the middle. My time was 1:47, 11 minutes faster than last year! And I truly feel like it could have been faster if I wasnt dodging walkers half the race. Either way, I ran the race I wanted to and I was thrilled with the outcome!
I enjoyed the free beer after as well-Cheers to another GRR!!

Green Monster...Take 2

Am I really ready for the Green Monster again?!

Tomorrow morning is the Gate River Run! I worked a half day today, then picked up my moms best friend (my second mom) from the airport. We headed straight to the Runners Expo. We got our shirts, race bibs and timers, and walked around for some free stuff. On our way there I got a glimpse of the Hart Bridge, aka Green Monster. All I can think of is last year getting to the foot of that bridge and being completely exhausted. I had the hardest time getting up there and had to even walk some along the way. I really want this year to be different. I want to be faster, stronger, and walk away feeling like overall I improved from last year. The Green Monster is the only thing that worries me. Well, that and my overall lack of running recently. Oh well, the GRR is tomorrow, no time to doubt myself. Just have to get it done!

Woohoo, here goes nothing, GRR 2011!

Running Block

So lately running has been hard. I'm talking I cant catch my breath and my legs feel heavy and arent moving like they should. I am struggling. With all that has gone on these last few weeks, running has been on the back burner. I guess I thought I didnt need to train on the weekdays in running and if I could do it on the weekends I'd be ready for the GRR this weekend. Yah...I'm beginnning to think that wasnt so smart. Last week was tough! A 4 mile run kicked my butt. Then my long run on Sunday was hot and exhausting. I couldnt even run the whole thing. I dont know if its mental and alot is on my mind, or if I really do need to keep pushing my self and sticking to my training. Ready or not the GRR is on Saturday and I really had big goals this year. I almost dont want to put them out there for fear I wont achieve them. I guess since I started running about a year and a half ago, I just picked it up and got better and better. It was something that through all the sadness and craziness in life, I had control over. Now I dont feel like I do. I need to try and get it back because I miss it. Running used to free my mind and give me so many emotions. Now I fight and struggle for every step. I need to pull it together, and quick. I am running the race Saturday and I dont want to feel let down. Hoping to find myself this week!

From Numb to Pain...I'm Over It

Well I lied. I said sore gums or not, I'd be at the gym. That did not happen.

This morning, my mouth didnt look right. To spare you the gory details, I'll just say there was blood and my gums were still very swollen. I ended up rushing back to the dentist, only to find out that during the cleaning yesterday they cut my gums and there is some tissue damage. They are still swollen and very sore. After all the emotion of seeing my gums like this and feeling the pain, I just decided to rest and stay home. My mouth looked different, and more than anything I felt very self conscious.

By 5 this afternoon, I was sick of laying on the couch. Since my friend Ashleys bday celebration is Saturday, the girls all decided to wear dresses. I thought I'd go out and look, and maybe spluge on a new one. I ended up finding a dress and falling in loved with it. I was torn between the size that fits perfectly, and a size bigger, which is where I'm most comfortable. But then boyfriend conveniently pointed out that I wanted more than one wear out of the dress, and I needed to get the one that fit me. Between my rollercoaster from the morning and then that small victory with the dress, I feel motivated again. I missed the gym the past two days, and I've felt bad about my mouth and the pain, and how it looks. Now its time to stop feeling bad for myself and get back to it.

Numb

Literally....for 4 1/2 hours today my mouth was numb!

Today was part 2 of my deep cleaning, which apparently involves 8 shots to my gums. The cleaning itself was short, but the after effects were miserable. The right side of my face was literally drooping and swollen. If I talked, only one side of my mouth moved. I couldnt feel anything for most of the day. Once the numbness wore off, the pain set in. My gums are still swollen and throbbing, but I'm happy that the worst is over and hopefully I wont have to do this again.

This did not start my week off very well. I didnt get to work out today, so I feel bloated and gross after laying around all day. Tomorrow, sore gums or not I'm going to the trainer! Hopefully, the week gets better from here!

Long Time....

It has been awhile...I'm a slacker.
I think so much has gone on recently I havent even thought about blogging. I really have nothing important to talk about, no new accomplishments or anything, but I want to get back int the habit of doing this, so here goes the last few weeks:
Shortly after our Orlando trip, my papa (grandpa) got sick and passed suddenly. Dealing with that and the family and funeral was stressul and sad. He was 90 and had alzheimers for awhile and had only been getting worse. He lived a great life and I have piece in the relationship I had with him growing up, heck I practically lived at his and Manny's house when I was younger. The sadness has passed, now that I see my Manny will be ok. In order to get my mind off things, I headed to Charleston that weekend after the funeral.

I went to visit an amazing friend, and being with her is always the pick me up I need. I really had a blast and worried about nothing the entire weekend. When I was driving home I just felt better, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I really must have needed the time away, with good friends and fun!

During that trip, another one of my best friends got engaged! I got the call and I couldnt be more excited. Ash and Brian are a great couple and I'm genuinely happy for whats ahead for them!

That brings me to now. My main focus is training for the GRR and working to be debt free (no easy task for anyone that knows my credit cards). I've been focused on work and training. I really wish I was more exciting, but this is just my attempt to get back into writing. Hope everyone has a great week!

Vacation Shame Spiral

Just as quickly as you accomplish something, you can lose it just as quick.

This past Thursday I went on a mini vacation with the boyfriend, my sissy, and her boyfriend to Orlando. We bought the boys tickets to the Orlando Magic vs. Miami Heat basketball game since they love the Magic. Needless to say, we made a few days of it and had an amazing time! I had not cheated in 5 plus weeks, without soda, alcohol, or delish cheat food. I took full advantage of this trip and did not think about calories or workouts and anything. I ate, drank, and was merry! I enjoyed myself so much that when I got home on Saturday and Sunday I continued to eat and drink how I wanted. I call it my 'shame spiral'. Its a loving term I use to refer to times when I just let my hard work go and eat and let it get away from me. I definitely did that this weekend.

I made the mistake of weighing this morning, which I knew would disappoint me. I had to know where I was at though. What I saw I didnt like. I knew a day or so of enjoying myself was fine, but 4 days was excessive. I know I have no one to blame but myself. But instead of being down on myself, I just use it as a learning opportunity. A friend told me today "remember when you cheating was a way of life? You've come so far and changed your life, just get back on it" That really resonated with me. The sluggish, sick feeling I had this weekend used to be my daily life. I used to eat crap and drink weekly and feel the need to nap every single day. Now, I feel like this shame spiral will jump start my metabolism again. Today felt like the detox day, and it felt so good to eat healthy. By today my body was almost craving it! So I gained 3 pounds this week, but I'm going to use my 'shame spiral' as motivation! Bring on a new week!

Mid Week Pep Talk

So my job is stressful. Let's face it-people get in accidents all the time. Luckily, it keeps me employed. But, the amount of accidents makes my job something that is never-ending. Just when I clear claims, there are 5 more in my task bank to look at. It's almost like a cycle where it feels like you cant keep your head above water.

Lately I decided that I wasnt going to stress so much. There are days that are so overwhelming I go home thinking that I really got nothing accomplished and feel like maybe a 12 hour work day would be better. Then there are days like today, where I catch a break and get most of my day to catch up and get a ton done! It's made me realize that my job can relate to a weight loss journey. Some days are so overwhelming that all you want to do is give up and eat that chocolate bar or drink that soda. But then there are days when you feel so on track and so motivated that nothing can stop you. Today was that day for me. I caught up on work, and that made me feel like its cyclical. Some days are worse than others and I shouldnt stress because the day will come when I get to catch my breath and get re-organized. Just with weight loss I have my frustrated days and days where I'm unstoppable.

I thinks its important to realize that its ok to have the down days, but not to dwell on them and let them overwhelm you. As quick as it comes, a better day is on the other side. Its just important to keep in my mind the "why" or motivation.

Not sure why this was on my mind, I think I might have needed a pep talk!

Hard Work Pays Off!

Ahh so excited! This weekend was proof that hard work really does pay off! First, I had a 5K Saturday morning in St. Augustine. My fastest 5K was 31:31, and that was last March after the GRR. Well, my goal this race was to beat that time, even if it was by a second. Well I kicked that time in the butt! My time was 30:18! I finished in the top half in my age group and 318 out of 1576 finishers! The craziest thing is, I didnt even feel that great while running. My chest felt tight and I couldnt keep my form right. I just felt out of sync, but somehow I pulled it out and ran a great race! I was so happy! My mom ran with me, and we were thrilled afterwards! Couldnt have been a better start to the weekend!

That brings me to this morning. Today was my weekly weigh-in. (again, only until I get to my goal) After a disappointing week last week, I was apprehensive. That and mother natures monthly gift dropping by, I wasnt so sure I had done enough this week. To my surprise I got on the scale and I lost 2.4 lbs this week! I have not been in this weight range in 3 years! I was so excited. I definitely screamed like a little school girl and woke the boyfriend up to share in my glory! I'm aware numbers shouldnt matter, but I have a goal and I'm getting there. Like my friend Ashley said on her blog, 'you dont quit a marathon at mile 25' and I most certainly am not. I'm hitting my goal, and this week has only motivated me more. I feel like all this work I've been doing in and out of the gym, not drinking, not cheating has been SO worth it! To celebrate I went out for a 4 mile run and it felt great. So ready to take on this new week!

Working Hard

I've taken a few days off from blogging, but not from working out! I have been so on track the last 2 weeks and I've even lost 2 lbs! I've been training for the GRR 5 days a week while working out with my trainer 3 times a week. Overall, I've been exhausted but I'm starting to see changes in my body and that keeps me motivated.

Lately work has been a little overwhelming, but having the workouts with my trainer in the afternoons right after work has helped so much with stress. I noticed that I seem to leave it all at the gym. That way I can go into work with a clean slate just about every day. It's amazing the difference working out can make in your daily attitude and emotions. I feel like it keeps me a little more even throughout the day, even when things get crazy.

Oh and I'm excited this Saturday I'm running in a 5K. It's the Matanzas 5K in St. Augustine. I'm excited because I just love the adrenaline rush of racing. MY goal is to beat my best time, 31:31. Here's hoping for a PR!

Monday Already...

Ohhh Mondays...you always seem to get here so soon. Either way, I dragged my self out of bed this mornig for yet another GRR training run. It was only 2 miles, but waking up at 6 is such a struggle. The only thing that I was slightly excited about was running in my new shoes. They came in last week and I ran in them yesterday-3 miles. I swear there is nothing like new running shoes. They fit perfectly and you dont realize how much you needed new shoes until you put on a new pair!

Other than a run, I didnt do much else besides work. We started the office Biggest Loser and did everyone initial weigh-in today. I'm participating, but I'm tracking my personal weight at home on my own scale. The scale at home and the one at work has a couple pounds difference. Since last Monday morning when I weighed I've lost 1.2 lbs. I only intend to get off these last 13 pounds, then no more weighing weekly, just maintaining! A pound doesnt seem like much, but when its the last few, its so much harder to get it off. I'm going to celebrate my 1.2 and work harder this week!

I'll be in bed early-3 mile training run in the morning, then personal trainer butt kicking after work! Bring it on!

Rest Days & Parfaits

Today was a rest day on the GRR training schedule. I have come to appreciate these days. Even if I physically feel up to working out, I know that these rest days are just what I need to take advantage of. I dont want to overtrain or get burnt out, so I plan to take full advantage of days like today!

After work, Cody and I had dinner plans with some great friends, and one of our favorite couples-Ashley and Brian. We planned to do a dinner and just catch up. We ended up having a pretty healthy meal. We had grilled chicken, potatoes, and salad. Cody and I brought dessert and salad and I really wanted to try something new, but healthy for dessert. I was looking up recipes at work and came across a fruit and yogurt parfait. I sent the recipe to Cody and he agreed to make it while I was working (he is in between semesters-man I miss those days!). When I got home I looked at it and saw what looked like granola on top and it didnt look as fresh and appealing as it did on the websites picture. Either way we took it over and gave it a try. It was actually delicious! It was a parfait with layers of low-fat peach yogurt, pineapple chunks and raspberries, and Cody added chocolate granola on top. The topping really set it off. (I knew he was a keeper) One parfait is about 160 calories. I'm not big on dessert everyday, or that often really, but I plan on making this again!

Well, off to bed, tomorrow will be a long day. 2 mile training run in the morning, then after work I have my first workout session with my trainer in 2 weeks! Should be a looonng day!

New Gear & a New Attitude!

In order to gear up for the River Run and really get in a good place about running I thought some retail therapy was in order. It's amazing how stocking up and buying new running gear can put you in a great mood! It's almost like looking better makes you feel better, and in turn makes you run better. First, I stocked up on my GNC Active Women Vitapaks, Chewable (yes like a 5 year old, but the flavor is good) Vitamin C, and new protein powder. Then I went to Academy Sports to look for some cute colder weather gear. They had an awesome sale on Nike Pro Combat stuff. I got capris, and a long sleeve pro combat shirt. I'm in LOVE with the shirt. The outside is dri-fit, but the inside is an amazing warm cloth material. The end of the sleeves even have a thumb hole, so your hands can stay warm. I wore both today and I will be going back for more!

Then today, after work I was looking online at running shoes. Since I know the kind I like I thought I would just see what kind of price difference I could find. I found a pair of the Mizunos I wear for HALF the price! I was ecstatic because its about time for new shoes, and these are white and pink!

It's amazing how a little bit of new stuff can make such a difference in your attitude. My first training run for the GRR this morning, went ok. I felt good and was excited to get back into it. I felt a little winded, but I think it has to do with all the junk I've been eating. By the end of the week I think I'll feel back to normal. Looking forward to productive week!

Cheers to a New Year!--2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope everyone had a great time ringing in 2011. The boyfriend and I went to his friends bar Engine 15 with his family, sis, and her boyfriend. We sampled some delicious, but different beers. Then it was off to his sisters boyfriends family's house (confusing yes I know) to ring in the new year! We had delicious drinks, and my favorite the champagne toast! (I looove champagne) Overall, it went from stressing over what to do and how things were going to play out, to a great start for 2011!

I didnt really make a resolution this year, more like re-committing to what I already started. I'm so excited to start this new year off right and get these last few pounds off and finally get to my goal. Also, racing is back in full swing. River run training starts tomorrow. Now that I've done it before, I cant wait to see what improvements I make this year! Plus, I have an odd obsession with being on a training schedule. Having a goal and a written plan really keep me motivated. That paired with the Wellness Committee at work should really give me no excuses, and every opportunity to start the year right!